Blanche Meets Dexter
by Adventures of the Blue Car
Summary: Two of Miami's most infamous residents meet one fateful night...
1. Early Morning Return

Between the blue sky above and the jacaranda ferns below, the suburban Miami house stood sun kissed by the rising morning sun. The lofty palms that swayed in the breeze further postcarded the picture. The addition of sweeping, low-key woodwind instruments would have made the scene sound as perfect as it looked. Another thing that would have made the view more ideal would have been if the missing high-heeled Blanche Devereaux was not scurrying through her front lawn's sprinkler system in an attempt to enter her house before her roommates awoke. 

Unfortunately for Blanche it was to be a vain attempt, as her elderly friends Dorothy, Rose and Sophia were sitting at the round table in the wood washed kitchen, drinking morning coffee and listening to the sound of the front door creak cautiously open and the tiptoeing footsteps pass by the closed kitchen door. Dorothy swung the door open to catch Blanche in mid-tiptoe. 

"Just getting in, Blanche?" Dorothy asked in her deep, almost singing, voice. Behind her tall shoulders, Rose and Sophia peered at the sight of the disheveled Blanche. 

"Dorothy! Why, I was just out checking the mail." Blanche answered in her innocent southern belle accent. Resuming her composure and confidence, she marched past Dorothy and took her seat at the table. 

Sophia spoke up, "so on your trip back from the mailbox you lost your shoes, ran your mascara, and misplaced your handbag?" 

"Ma's right, Blanche. Where is your handbag? Oh my, were you mugged?" Dorothy let the kitchen door swing shut and joined the others at the table. 

"You girls are not going to believe the night I've had." Blanche said, beginning to let her guard down. 

"We've met you, we'll believe it. What was the young man's name?" Sophia asked. 

"Dexter." Blanche answered.


	2. Who is Dexter?

"Dexter? Wait, I thought you were on a date with Lou Bookman?" Dorothy asked, looking to the others for conformation. 

"You've forgotten who you're talking to, pussy cat." Sophia chimed in. 

"You're talking to Blanche, Dorothy." Rose added, helpfully. 

"I know who I'm talking to!" Dorothy shouted. "But I don't know who Dexter is." 

Blanche shook her head, "you simply will not believe my story." 

"Does your story take place in St. Olaf?" Rose asked. 

"No." Blanche responded in quick confusion. 

"Then they will believe it." Rose scorned a stare of indignation at the other girls for prior grievances involving her beloved St. Olaf stories. 

"Rose, your stories could take place in Budapest and we still wouldn't believe them," Dorothy yelled. "Now, Blanche, what happened to your purse? We may have to call the police." 

At the end of that sentence, Sophia sprang up and shuffled past the walled telephone towards the back door. 

"Ma, where are you going?" Dorothy asked. 

"The last time you said that I woke up, drugged out of my mind in a little place called Shady Pines retirement home." Sophia explained. 

"I did not call the police. Shady Pines sent a very nice courtesy car." Dorothy defended. 

"Then why did they handcuff me?" 

"Ma, you weren't handcuffed. Now back to Blanche's night." Dorothy looked back at Blanche. 

"If you don't want to talk about handcuffs, I don't know why you're bringing up Blanche's night." Sophia muttered, returning to her chair. 

"Alright, I'll tell you what happened. Lord knows I can't keep this bottled up for long." Blanche began. "You girls remember Lou picking me up last night?" 

"I don't even remember my own children's names." Sophia admitted, flinging her tiny hands in the air. 

"Ma, I'm standing right here. It's not right to joke about Alzheimer's disease." Dorothy scorned her mother. 

"You're right... pussycat." Sophia said, remembering her daughter's name after a brief lapse. 

Dorothy stared at Sophia before returning focus to the story Blanche was reciting; "Lou took me to Loco's Crab Shack for a very romantic seafood meal. Love and passion were certainly in the air last night as the sea breeze dazzled the candlelight's shadows over my beautiful, perky..." 

"The handbag, Blanche!" Dorothy shouted. 

"I'm getting to that." Blanche defended. "Lou had to go make a phone call and I took the opportunity to check my make-up. But lo and behold, in my compact's reflection, I saw Lou was out in the parking lot getting stabbed with a syringe." 

"What?" the three roommates exclaimed in unison. Blanche leaned in on the table, "It was a light haired man, dressed in dark brown clothes, wearing gloves and holding what looked like a syringe." 

Dorothy raised a fist to her mouth as Blanche continued. "The next thing I knew Lou collapsed and the man carried him into a boat shed across the parking lot." 

"This is better than the Bold and the Beautiful. What happened next?" Rose asked, on the edge of her kitchen seat. 

"The young, Cuban waiter refilled my water glass, even though it was almost overflowing to begin with. He must have been admiring the dancing candlelight's shadow on my beautiful, perk..." 

"With Lou, Blanche. What happened with Lou?" a frustrated Dorothy asked. 

"Well," Blanche resumed. "I went over to that lil' old boat shed. Through the side window I witnessed Lou being tied to a table with tape." 

"Oh my gosh. You must have been shocked." Rose said. 

"Well, I thought Lou would be tied to a table that night. I was just surprised it wasn't me doing it." Blanche admitted, shuffling playfully in her chair. 

"Blanche, if you're not going to take this seriously..." Dorothy shook her head.

"Aright, Dorothy. Truth is I was scared. I slowly entered through the side wooden door, leaving my shoes outside as to not make a peep. I crept up behind the man who was too busy explaining who he was to hear me." 

"Who was he?" Sophia asked. 

"He said his name was Dexter Moore or something, and that he was there to murder Lou." Blanche's voice became croaky. Her friends were in silent anticipation, quite the opposite of a St. Olaf yarn. 


	3. Blanche's Escape

"I didn't know what to do. I just started swinging my handbag and walloped Dexter over the back of the head." Blanche managed a proud smile. "He fell like a ton of bricks." 

"What happened then?" Sophia took her turn to ask. 

"I untied Lou and quite rightly explained that we could not possibly see each other anymore, as I did not like the people he associated with." 

"That's it?" Dorothy asked. "You didn't ask who Dexter was and why he wanted Lou dead?" 

"I thought I was in too deep as it was. I wanted to get as far away from both of them, so I picked up my handbag, slipped my high heels back on and returned to Loco's Crab Shack for further refills of my water." Blanche explained. 

"But Blanche," Rose began. "If you didn't leave your handbag and shoes at the boat shed, what happened to them?" 

"If you must know, they are at the foot of a certain young Cuban waiter's bed." With that satisfied grin, Blanche stood and walked to the kitchen door before turning back at her shocked friends. "Well, I needed an excuse to return tonight. A lady always leaves her calling card." Blanche then left the kitchen. 

Sophia spoke up, "yes, and a slut leaves her shoes and purse under the waiter's bed."


End file.
